Needy

The good morning texts,
the late-night messages to greet you when you wake.

Counting down the weeks,
the days, the hours.
Knowing your smile will greet me soon.

Needy lips against my own,
weeks of greed and love and longing behind each kiss.

The warmth of your body
reminding me I’m safe,
reminding me I’m home.

I’m needy.
Always needy for the comfort of you.

All My Thoughts

You’re my 4 am thoughts, alone in the silence of the night. You’re my 2 pm thoughts, a welcomed distraction in my work day when I’m aching to reach out and rest my hand on your thigh. You’re my 9 am thoughts, craving the warmth of you on all the cold lonely mornings. You’re my 8 pm thoughts, your head in my lap and my fingers through your hair. You’re my 11 pm thoughts, my fingertips aching for your skin to draw you impossibly closer.

Phantom

If I squeeze my eyes shut, I can pretend your body is right here beside me again. I can pretend your hand is inches from mine, waiting for me to take it. I can reach out and feel your warmth. But then I open my eyes. It’s cold. And I’m numb.

Which is Worse?

Jolting awake from the darkest of nightmares. Ones that petrify you and leave you with the taste of lead in your mouth. Or stirring from the warmth and goodness of a magical dream. One where you’ve come back to me. One where I can kiss you.

Either way, I can’t reach out and feel you. I can’t be settled. The unrest only lingers. And it all hurts just the same.