Nothing more than a resilient woman
with sad eyes, an empty heart,
and chains that bind her
to the haunting darkness
that’s made a home
in her own mind
All your demons, oh I knew
Fought them off with a sword
Held you tighter when they pushed through
Now you rewrite the tale, blinded by rage
Paint me as nothing more than the villain,
Still taking up every page
I hate the way I still fight for you
I hate the way I still hope for you
I hate the way I still ache for you
I hate the way I still cry for you
I hate the way I still crave you
I hate the way I still feel for you
I hate what remains of you
I hate the way
You didn’t lose love, it’s still here. It still burns brighter than all the stars in the galaxy. Even on the darkest of nights – it’s still there.
If I squeeze my eyes shut, I can pretend your body is right here beside me again. I can pretend your hand is inches from mine, waiting for me to take it. I can reach out and feel your warmth. But then I open my eyes. It’s cold. And I’m numb.
Jolting awake from the darkest of nightmares. Ones that petrify you and leave you with the taste of lead in your mouth. Or stirring from the warmth and goodness of a magical dream. One where you’ve come back to me. One where I can kiss you.
Either way, I can’t reach out and feel you. I can’t be settled. The unrest only lingers. And it all hurts just the same.
It’s hard to even feel you anymore
Slipping away, like a memory
I still look for you in every book. In every lyric. In every line of poetry. In every episode of television. In each movie I watch for the hundredth time. I still look for you among a sea of strangers in a crowded room. In the emptiest of places. In every piece of artwork. I still look for you, even in my loneliest dreams.
The silent self mutilation of climbing into fresh bedsheets dusted with the scent of you and gripping tight, realizing all my nights are spent sleeping with a ghost.
Do we still look up and see the same sky? Some days, it feels impossible to even feel certain anymore.
Hundreds of red rose petals and all the reasons I’ll always love you, set ablaze and scattered like ashes lost in the wind.
It was always there, an ocean between us. But now? It feels like galaxies. Like I’m light years from home and can never find my way back.
Name the miles, give me a number.
I’d walk them all just to get to you.
My love for you is endless.
A labyrinth I work my way through,
with no desire for an exit.
It settles into my bones,
and I spend my days wandering,
exploring all the new and profound pieces of you.
Do you still think of me as you fall asleep?
Do you reach for me in the middle of the night
the way I still reach for you?