All the minutes, all the hours, all the time I’ve spent in a frantic search trying to find the right song — the perfect one to describe everything you make me feel.
My playlists may be filled with numerous hours of songs that scratch the surface, but none of them do the trick. I pine over certain verses, but the lyrics are never right.
And now I’ve realized, it’s because we never got to tell our story. And maybe, just maybe, I need to stop searching for our lyrics. And let us write them ourselves.
I always tease
My memory is repugnant
Absolutely, unacceptably inadequate.
But when it comes to you,
I remember everything you reveal.
I memorize every word as it escapes your lips,
Every letter that forms to make up sentences you write.
Inscribing it into my memory.
Because I’m afraid.
One day I’m going to lose you.
And those words —
those letters, those snippets of thoughts,
They’re all I will have left to hold onto.
I caught a glimpse of the other side of that wall
That you fight so hard to keep standing
Then you pulled away,
An expert at goodbyes
And now I’m here,
You know I want you; it’s no secret.
God, I wish you would just let me stay.
I don’t know which is worse
Never knowing what it would be like
Or only having a little taste and craving more
I used to believe I was to blame. That I ruined what was blooming. But I’m not to blame at all. It was you who was afraid.
— And we weren’t blooming, we were burning.
Now, you’re just another stranger.
But tell me – how could a stranger force my heart to plummet completely into my stomach the moment I laid eyes on you again?
I saw you again the other day
The first time in months
My breath hitched in my throat
My chest tightened
I nearly forgot the effect you have on me
Almost forgot how badly I miss you
But then I remembered,
It’s not you I miss.
It’s the memories we never had.
And you want her, and she wants you.
But the happily ever after is never as simple.