I miss kissing you.
But not just kissing you. The way you kiss. The build up. The tension. The way your sparkling eyes grow darker when I lick my lips in anticipation, taking my bottom lip between my teeth as I grow needy. The way you start slow, gently, to draw me in deeper. Soft kisses that tease and make me tremble for more. The way you give me just a little taste, before devouring me completely.
Sometimes I wonder
How much better things would’ve played out
If I had said yes when you asked.
I should have said yes.
I wish I said yes.
I’ve never been one to open up. But with you, I couldn’t stop myself. Everything I felt… it just forced its way out. Raw honesty was all I knew when it came to you. I used to be so distant, cold, closed off, walls up. But everyone knows all it takes is the right person coming along to break through those walls.
But suddenly, I began to learn the truth about what you needed me to be. You didn’t want to be with me. You just needed an emotional crutch to help you through. And I was vulnerable, so I let you take what you needed, regardless of the cost. Even when the weight became too heavy for me to hold.
We’d never be what I wanted us to be, but you kept reaching out, so I remained hopeful. And I continued to fall.
When I finally mustered up the courage to take what was between us a step further, you weren’t ready. I pushed you too far and soon realized a hard lesson to learn.
I learned the hard way that you can’t force someone to feel the same way you do.
You’d never be able to feel for me, and I was shattered. I slipped on my sneakers, running faster and further than ever before. But even when I stopped running, the pain remained. And reality set in that I needed to let you go.
The stranger I longed for needed to remain just a forever what-if.
I don’t even know how it happened. One day, I finally admitted I was living a lie and mustered up the courage. I never knew it would lead me to you. I certainly never expected… this.
I remember how mesmerized I was by the sight of you. Your smile radiated your spirit right through. I wasn’t certain of much at that moment, but I was certain about you.
Everything came so naturally for me, for us. I spilled my heart out and being vulnerable never felt so right.
Soon, just the thought of you would make me giddy. I’d smile in public. I’d laugh out loud, not caring who heard me. Your quirky comments made my life less of a burden. I didn’t care about what crumbled around me, because I had you and everything was right.
I fought exhaustion each night, desperate to keep talking to you. Refusing to ever say goodnight.
You shared a portion of your heart with me. Your words had me enchanted. You let your guard down, just to let someone like me in. And it was beyond beautiful, no amount of words I write could ever do it justice. I was inspired. I realized I finally found what I’d been searching for months, years even, to find.
I knew it would happen,
It was never supposed to be a surprise
Hell, you even warned me
You couldn’t be there forever
But that doesn’t help cushion the fall
When the world keeps crumbling
And my best friend is no longer by my side
But you wanted more
And I could never be what you needed
And now that you’re gone
Do you even realize you took a part of me with you?
I hate wanting something I can never have
What hurts even worse
Is that you will never even know
you are everything I want
I’m so happy you showed your true colors
Before I fell too hard for the person I thought you were