It was always there, an ocean between us. But now? It feels like galaxies. Like I’m light years from home and can never find my way back.
Name the miles, give me a number.
I’d walk them all just to get to you.
Everyone thinks I’m so open,
so vulnerable and easy to comprehend.
Black and white,
all spelled out in pretty prose.
But then they peel back another layer
reveal something new
and uncover a new puzzle,
desperate to be unwound.
It’s not as easy
as they make it seem.
I never sleep anymore.
I just toss and turn and reach for the ghost of you.
I can never have you.
So here I am again,
dreaming of what we could have been.
People worry, they wonder
Why am I always busy living in a fantasy?
But it’s because
That’s all you can ever be anymore.
There’s nothing left here to hold on to
Even in my dreams, I’m drowning.
My love for you is endless.
A labyrinth I work my way through,
with no desire for an exit.
It settles into my bones,
and I spend my days wandering,
exploring all the new and profound pieces of you.
My hand aches to settle on your thigh
Do you still think of me as you fall asleep?
Do you reach for me in the middle of the night
the way I still reach for you?
Remember when I told you
that you were my muse?
Nothing has changed.
I’m drowning over and over,
and still praying the tide
will bring me back to you.
always caught in a
never-ending battle of
wish you were here,
wish I were there
These storms are relentless,
a clear sky just wouldn’t feel right.
it’s four am,
lying with an ache in my chest
that can never be healed.
with each toss and turn, I miss you.